English-ish-ish.

Tonight I am obsessed with what English, specifically American English, sounds like to the billions of people around the world who must, at times, feel that they are drowning in a sea of foreign sounds. We'll start off slow.



Yes, it's "Ken Lee". Deal with it.

Somewhat less known, though apparently a mini-meme in its own right, is Adriano Celentano's "Prisencolinensinaincuisol", an Italian pop song from the early 70's. Ostensibly written to mimic American English, the song is pure jibberish and yet rather convincingly apes English pheonetics.



Here it is, sung by a Bulgarian Valentin Asenov, passed through a terrifying late '80s / early '90s filter, complete with "fly girls" and a saxophone solo.




Here's a link to a somewhat befuddled Will Smith confronting Prisencolinensinaincuisol on Italian TV in 2005.

Will Smith: "Was that supposed to be English?"
Italian TV Man: "Yes, certo. Certo, Inglese."

The announcer/host is most definitely joking, but he does display some pride at the wit of his musically comedic countryman. Also most definitely comedy is the following clip from the Swedish television show Grotesco. It's not only filled with pseudo English, but uses some of our many, many television cliches to make its point. The black man falsely accused of a crime in the south, the "old boy" corrupt government official, the old southern man in a white suit... The Grotesco parody suffers from its creators obvious grasp of the English language, the words too often drifting from fake into silly English. It's mentionable, however, for quotes like the following:

"They say a man can walk a thousand miles and still don't know his butt from his behind. Well, I say a man can walk two yards and found the crowmacrew. That's a frewf."



I am reminded of a story an ex-boyfriend relayed of a conversation he had with a European tourist when we were both living in Rome as students. My ex asked the man what he though English sounded like as a non-native speaker, and he made a series of smacking, open-mouthed chewing sounds.